"In the past, there was a tradition whereby on the eve of the wedding, the bride and groom, together with their family and friends, would spend vigil in the church hall praying and praising, and thereby making them ready for receiving the Holy Communion the following morning. In the morning, after the morning raising of incense, the deacons proceed the couple into the church singing the appropriate hymns, depending on the church season, in order for the Sacrament of Matrimony to take place.
Such a hall, where the family and friends of the bride and groom meet and spend the night in vigil, exists in St. George’s Cathedral in Old Cairo.
This tradition which was kept by the older generations, is derived from the Book of Tobit, (in the Deutrocanonical Books). It tells how the couple spend the first three days of their marriage in prayers and spiritual readings, thus transcending the bodily lusts to spiritual love, in order to be united with God. Hence, they start their marital life with a holy beginning, as a strong foundation like the person who built his house on rock and, “The rain descended, the floods came and the winds tribulations and troubles) blew, and beat on that house, and it did not fall, for it was founded on the rock” (Matthew 7: 24,25).
When the righteous man Tobit married Sarah, he said to her, “‘Rise up my sister, let us pray to God today, tomorrow and after tomorrow. As in those three days we join God. After the third night we consummate our marriage, as we are children of saints and cannot marry like Gentiles who do not know God.’ So both rose up, and prayed fervently for God to bless them” (Tobit 8:4-6)."
+ His Grace Bishop Mettaous Abbot of El-SYRIAN Monastery, The Sacramental Rites of the Coptic Orthodox Church, 2nd Edition, http://www.copticchurch.net/topics/thecopticchurch/sacraments/6_matrimony.html
Although I'd say the book referenced above has some of the trappings of a sort of popular (but unfortunately reductionist and moralist) styled type of catechesis, the actual practice of the Tobias fast is in fact very beautiful.
One Orthodox priest in the Byzantine Rite noted that even in Byzantine Rite there was a similar practice of dedicating the first few days of a marriage to prayer. In an answer to the question of the difficulty of an engaged couple transitioning from the idea that sex before marriage being sinful and sex within marriage being blessed he answered:
To make it even more problematic today, at the time when the Church started the Crowing, the couple would get married in Church and then the crowns were not removed and where would they go? The couple would go to the monastery to learn how to be married [this has fallen out of practice in contemporary setting in the Byzantine Orthodox Rite].
When you’re wearing the crowns the marriage takes place in the Kingdom, so to remove them is a sign of: ok we can’t stay there but we have to come back to this reality and here we work out our salvation. The crowns are removed and are put aside until you get them back again (ie. in eschaton) but in order to continue that sense of in the kingdom, in order to prepare yourself to live the Kingdom in life, after being united in Christ, I think you would take a week or ten days, but you would spend it in monasteries, and then you would come back and the crowns would be removed and then you would consummate the nuptial union. So you could see this period as a sort of novitiate, as a time of preparation, which is different than just sitting on your heads.
It’s not easy but neither is sex easy...there’s nothing that’s easy in life, trust me. But maybe if I can help to give it a meaning and it is not to give it a meaning because we don’t know what to do with the time, at the end of the day you’re free but rather that you’ll have to be responsible with the call before God.
The call is really to know the fullness of life, the fullness of union, the fullness of intimacy and there are steps in this that the Church leads us into. But it isn’t like now sex is no, and now sex is yes. It’s never that simple. And everything that we do is sexual, you’re a man, you’re a woman. It’s not just one aspect.So the purpose of the fast is not to abstain from sexual union because "sex is bad or fallen" but rather that the frame of the gift of sexual intimacy is in light of the gift of union with God and the kenotic offering of self. The marriage and the couple fast for these days in the beginning of their shared life together in order to consecrate and offer all of themselves eucharistically to God, for life of the world. They embrace the eschatological vision of their crowning and abide in the life of Christ. Or as Fr Philip LeMasters mentions in his book "Toward a Eucharistic Vision of Church, Marriage, Family, and Sex":
God intends the married to direct their sexual energies toward theosis, “to turn with love to each other and their children...they are like martyrs; they are to die to their passions.”and
Orthodox moral theology remains eucharistic and pastoral, focused on bringing fallen human beings into to fuller communion with the Holy Trinity. The journey of theosis is never undertaken alone, but in the communion of the Church. As we have seen, the entire existence of the Christian is to become Eucharist. Those called to marriage must learn how to offer their family life to God through eucharistic communion in the Body of Christ. Those called to abstain from sexual union must likewise find their salvation by offering eucharistically their celibacy to the Father. Whether single or married, Christians must offer themselves in union with Christ’s sacrifice in order to conquer their passions, resist the temptations of our culture, and grow in communion with the Holy Trinity.If we come back to the Coptic practice it's fascinating to see that the Tobias fast seems to resonate with this understanding of Marriage, Union and Theosis. The fast in particular also references the specific mention of three days of prayer in the Latin Vulgate version of the Book of Tobit. What is interesting is that the specific line "Sara, arise, and let us pray to God today, and tomorrow, and the next day: because for these three nights we are joined to God: and when the third night is over, we will be in our own wedlock" (Tobit 8:4) is only mentioned in the Vulgate recension and not in Greek versions of the LXX.
This raises a few questions:
More scholarship on the topic might provide better inferences and conclusions than my speculative pondering. In any case, whichever translation and recension is being used, the theme remains the same, that Orthodox marriages are seen as holy and eucharistic, and intended for a husband and wife's life in communion with the Holy Trinity. May God preserve us. May God preserve every married couple.
- + How and when did the Latin Vulgate become primary source for the Coptic Orthodox Church's translation of the Book of Tobit over the Septuagint recension? What of the other Codices or recensions that were translated into Arabic? Are these based on other manuscripts?
- + Is there perhaps a Coptic recension or manuscript that has influenced the Vulgate?
- + Does this speak about Latin influence on Coptic Rite? or Coptic influence on Latin Rite?
Below are some examples of the various translations from Tobit for reference...
The Douay-Rheims Version (From the Vulgate)
4 Then Tobias exhorted the virgin, and said to her: Sara, arise, and let us pray to God today, and tomorrow, and the next day: because for these three nights we are joined to God: and when the third night is over, we will be in our own wedlock. 5 For we are the children of saints, and we must not be joined together like heathens that know not God. 6 So they both arose, and prayed earnestly both together that health might be given them, 7 And Tobias said: Lord God of our father, may the heavens and the earth, and the sea, and the fountains, and the rivers, and all thy creatures that are in them, bless thee. 8 Thou madest Adam of the slime of the earth, and gavest him Eve for a helper. 9 And now, Lord, thou knowest, that not for fleshly lust do I take my sister to wife, but only for the love of posterity, in which thy name may be blessed for ever and ever. 10 Sara also said: Have mercy on us, O Lord, have mercy on us, and let us grow old both together in health.
+ Tobit 8: 4-10, The Douay-Rheims Bible, the first approved English translation of St. Jerome's Latin Vulgate Bible. The Old Testament translation was completed at the English College of Douai, France in 1609 http://biblescripture.net/Tobias.html and in Latin http://www.newadvent.org/bible/tob008.htm#vrs1 or http://www.speedbible.com/vulgate/B79C008.htm
[4] When the door was shut and the two were alone, Tobias got up from the bed and said, "Sister, get up, and let us pray that the Lord may have mercy upon us."
[5] And Tobias began to pray, "Blessed art thou, O God of our fathers,
and blessed be thy holy and glorious name for ever.
Let the heavens and all thy creatures bless thee.
[6] Thou madest Adam and gavest him Eve his wife
as a helper and support.
From them the race of mankind has sprung.
Thou didst say, `It is not good that the man should be alone;
let us make a helper for him like himself.'
[7] And now, O Lord, I am not taking this sister of mine because of lust, but with sincerity. Grant that I may find mercy and may grow old together with her."
[8] And she said with him, "Amen."
[9] Then they both went to sleep for the night.
Tobit 8: 4-9, RSV, http://quod.lib.umich.edu/cgi/r/rsv/rsv-idx?type=DIV1&byte=3785339
Orthodox Study Bible (NRSV)
4 While both were enclosed in the room, Tobias rose up from the bed and said, “Arise, sister, and let us pray that the Lord will have mercy upon us.” 5 So Tobias began to pray, saying:
“Blessed are You, O God of our fathers, and blessed is Your holy and glorious name unto the ages. The heavens and all Your creatures bless You. 6 You made Adam and gave him Eve as a helper, his wife as a support. From them the seed of mankind came to be. You said, ‘It is not good for the man to be alone. Let Us make a helper for him like himself.’7 O Lord, I now take this my sister as my wife, not on account of fornication, but in truth. Command that she and I may have mercy, and in this grow old together.”
8 And with him she said, “Amen.” 9 Then both fell asleep for the night.
+ Tobit 8:4-9, Orthodox Study Bible
The New English Translation of the Septuagint (Two Manuscripts GI & GII)
4 Then they went out and shut the door of the
room. And Tobias got up from the bed and said to
her, "Sister, get up, let us pray and implore our
Lord that he grant us mercy and safety." 5So she
got up, and they began to pray and implore that
safety may be theirs. And he began to say,
"Blessed are you, O God o f our ancestors,
and blessed be your name for all the ages
forever.
Let the heavens and all your creation bless
you for all the ages.
6 You made Adam, and you made for him
a helper, a support—his wife Heua.
And from the two of them the human
race has come.
And you said, 'It is not good for the man to
be alone;
let us make for him a helper like himself.'
7 And now not because of lust am I taking
this kinswoman of mine,
but with sincerity.
Grant that I and she may have mercy
and that we may grow old together."
8 And they said with each other, "Amen, Amen."
9 Then they went to sleep for the night.
+ Tobit 8: 4-9, NETS, GI, http://ccat.sas.upenn.edu/nets/edition/19-tobit-nets.pdf
4 When the two of them were shut in together,
Tobias got up from the bed and said, "Get up, sister,
and let us pray that the Lord may have mercy
upon us." 5 And Tobias began to say,
"Blessed are you, O God of our ancestors,
and blessed be your holy and glorious
name for the ages.
Let the heavens and all your creatures bless
you.
6 You made Adam and gave him a helper,
Heua, a support—his wife.
From them the human race has come.
You said, 'It is not good for the man to be
alone;
let us make for him a helper like himself.'
7 And now, O Lord, not because of lust am I
taking this kinswoman of mine,
but with sincerity.
Grant that I may have mercy
and may grow old together with her."
8 And she said with him, "Amen." 9 Then they both
went to sleep for the night.
+ Tobit 8: 4-9, NETS, GII, http://ccat.sas.upenn.edu/nets/edition/19-tobit-nets.pdf
Arabic Version (Possibly from the Latin Vulgate)
4. و وعظ طوبيا البكر وقال لها يا سارة قومي نصلي الى الله اليوم وغدا وبعد غد فانا في هذه الليالي الثلاث نتحد بالله وبعد انقضاء الليلة الثالثة نكون في زواجنا
5. لانا بنو القديسين فلا ينبغي لنا ان نقترن اقتران الامم الذين لا يعرفون الله
6. فقاما معا وصليا كلاهما بحرارة حتى يعافيهما
7. و قال طوبيا ايها الرب اله ابائنا لتباركك السماوات والارض والبحر والينابيع والانهار وجميع خلائقك التي فيها
8. انت جبلت ادم من تراب الارض واتيته حواء عونا
9. و الان يارب انت تعلم اني لا لسبب الشهوة اتخذ اختي زوجة وانما رغبة في النسل الذي يبارك فيه اسمك الى دهر الدهور
10. و قالت سارة ايضا ارحمنا يا رب ارحمنا حتى نشيخ كلانا معا في عافية
+ Tobit 8: 4-9, Arabic, http://st-takla.org/Bibles/Arabic-Bible-with-Diacritics/17-Tobit__Deu.doc
Latin Vulgate
8:4 Then Tobias exhorted the virgin, and said to her: Sara, arise, and let us pray to God to day, and to morrow, and the next day: because for these three nights we are joined to God: and when the third night is over, we will be in our own wedlock.
tunc hortatus est virginem Tobias dixitque ei Sarra exsurge deprecemus Deum hodie et cras et secundum cras quia istis tribus noctibus Deo iungimur tertia autem transacta nocte in nostro erimus coniugio
8:5 For we are the children of saints, and we must not be joined together like heathens that know not God.
filii quippe sanctorum sumus et non possumus ita coniungi sicut et gentes quae ignorant Deum
8:6 So they both arose, and prayed earnestly both together that health might be given them,
surgentes autem pariter instanter orabant ambo ut sanitas daretur eis
8:7 And Tobias said: Lord God of our fathers, may the heavens and the earth, and the sea, and the fountains, and the rivers, and all thy creatures that are in them, bless thee.
dixitque Tobias Domine Deus patrum nostrorum benedicant te caeli et terra et mare fontes et flumina et omnis creatura tua quae in eis sunt
8:8 Thou madest Adam of the slime of the earth, and gavest him Eve for a helper.
tu fecisti Adam de limo terrae dedistique ei adiutorium Evam
8:9 And now, Lord, thou knowest, that not for fleshly lust do I take my sister to wife, but only for the love of posterity, in which thy name may be blessed for ever and ever.
et nunc Domine tu scis quia non luxuriae causa accipio sororem meam sed sola posteritatis dilectione in qua benedicatur nomen tuum in saecula saeculorum
8:10 Sara also said: Have mercy on us, O Lord, have mercy on us, and let us grow old both together in health.
dixit itaque Sarra miserere nobis Domine miserere nobis et consenescamus ambo pariter sani
+ Tobit 8:4-10, Latin Vulgate (St Jerome), English & Latin, http://www.latinvulgate.com/lv/verse.aspx?t=0&b=17&c=8 or http://www.newadvent.org/bible/tob008.htm#vrs1
Another Translation of the Latin Vulgate
4 Next, Tobias must plead with his bride; Leave thy bed, Sara; today, and to-morrow, and the day after, let us pray God for mercy. These three nights are set apart for our union with God; when the third is over, we will be joined in one, thou and I. 5 We come of holy lineage; not for us to mate blindly, like the heathen that have no knowledge of God. 6 Side by side they kept vigil, and prayed together that no plague should mar their mating. 7 Lord God of our fathers, Tobias said, praise be to thee from heaven and earth, from seas and fountains and rivers, and from all creatures of thine that make in these their homes! 8 When Adam was made of earth’s clay, it was by thy hand; when Eve was sent to cheer him, it was of thy gift. 9 Thou, Lord, art my witness that I wed this sister of mine not from love of dalliance; only in the dear hope of leaving a race behind me, a race in whose destiny, Lord, may thy name be ever blessed! 10 And thus Sara prayed, Have mercy on us, Lord, have mercy on us; safe from all harm grow we old together, he and I!
+ Tobit 8:4-9, Latin Vulgate, http://www.newadvent.org/bible/tob008.htm#vrs1
